Scarier Than Hell: What NOT To Wear This Halloween
4.)The Retro Look: If you're going old school, be all class, girls. Looking like Grace Kelly may get good stares, but if the guy you're bringing wears this outfit, it's a different story. Time to see if that cider really is alcohol free.
3.) The “People Won't Remember I Wore It As A Kid”. If you see one of these outfits, pleaseremind your BFF's loser boyfriend that he might've worn a Tigger outfit at age three, but it doesn't fit at age twenty. And the Spidey underpants? Buddy, the Spy Kids are watching!
2.) The “It's Supposed To Be Funny Even Though It's Not” Costume. Really? Making your kid a whoopee cushion? Latent parental aggression? Just hope no neighborhood bullies decide to try the poor kid out.
1.) The “No One Will Notice I'm Too Fat For This” Costume. If you're big enough to eclipse the moon this Halloween, yes, we'll notice.
Top Ten Ways To Know You're An Undead Bimbo
Hey, Z here, telling it like it is—
1.) Your inflatable boobs routinely stop the coffin lid from closing all the way.
2.) The dress you were buried in is too small to fit the average first grader.
3.) When people call you a whore from hell, it's not because you're a vampire.
4.) Other people have angels as grave markers. Yours is in the shape of the bra you never wore.
5.) You suddenly realize that every “compliment” you've ever received is a word of five letters.
6.) You've been dead for years and there's still no tan line.
7.) When you pop out of the grave to ask people the time throughout the day, you wonder why each time you get a different answer.
8.) You didn't realize until after you were dead that the bartender asking you if you wanted sex on the beach really was just offering you a drink.
9.) No one could guess your real hair color before you became a zombie.
10.) You cover up ninety percent of your tattoos if you wear underwear.
Info on author Z’s books:
Zombies and Lipstick
Gossip Ghouls Book One
Zombie punk Z wakes up in her designer coffin to learn that Vampie, the undead Paris Hilton wannabe, killed her. At first, Z believes this attack stems from Vampie’s jealousy over Z’s boyfriend. Soon, Z learns Vampie's master plan: stealing Z's boyfriend while eliminating werewolves and zombies altogether. Z decides to pose as Gossip Ghoul to get revenge on the billionaire vampress. Impersonating Vampie’s party girl cousin, Z enters the world of the super wealthy, of birka bags and designer fangs, of Parisian shopping sprees and lavish parties. Will Z be exposed before she texts Vampie's scandalous secrets to the undead world? Or will Z vanquish Vampie to once again make the high school of the living and the undead a safe and fashionable place for all?
Download for Free:
Kindle on Amazon http://amzn.to/mOPU0e
Gossip Ghouls Book Two
In this sequel to The Gossip Ghouls: Zombies and Lipstick, Z finds herself heading for the Hollywood A-list. There's just one problem—to get there, she has to join The Club, a studio system run by the vampires who rule Undead Hollywood. During a wild party, Z learns that the entire film industry is truly run by the undead, some of whom plan to stage a war against the living to reclaim their old Hollywood status. Z must fight against parodies of Hollywood stars of the past in TV's Undead Idol to save her new husband's life and to reclaim her status as the zombie it girl.
Get Book 2 on your Kindle for Only .99 http://amzn.to/or8Lyh
I want to take the time to thank Z for this hilarious guest post! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did:)